Day 10:

Things to be grateful for:

1.  The sounds of the birds chirping outside. 
2.  The ringing of the grandfather clock that reminds me of my deceased grandmother's house
3.  The smell of freshness after a rain shower. 
4.  Percoset
5.  The appointment with the back surgeon on Monday.  I'm finally going to find out if I can have surgery to get rid of my back pain. 
6.  The laundry drying on the clothes line
7.  Spending time with my boys
8.  Coffee
9.  Hot showers that don't run out of hot water, no matter how long you stay there.
10.  Naps

My vision:

Why is it so hard for me to describe my vision?  Am I afraid of my vision?  Is it not my vision?  I love the vision of having a farm, of raising bison, of living where peacocks can wander freely around the yard.  I love the look and feel of a cabin.  I love being surrounded by nature.  So what is my resistance to this vision? 

My vision isn't just about the farm.  It is about a lifestyle.  An abundant lifestyle.  And I'm afraid that the farm alone won't provide the income we need to live that lifestyle. 

My vision includes waking up and sitting at the computer and browsing the news while sipping my coffee, hot steaming coffee with french vanilla cream in it.  A fresh toasted bagel with butter and strawberry preserves.  After this restful and slow wake up, I can feed the animals and make sure everything on the farm is taken care of.  After that, I can go back to my computer, in my office and start working.  I can check the results of the analysis I had running overnight.  I can review the books for the farm and the business. 

My vision includes travel.  Travel to Europe, travel around the US.  Spending time taking road trips.  Going to conferences on how to better run our farm and raise our animals.  Taking classes on animal husbandry or prevention of illnesses. 

Yes I want to live on a farm and run a farm.  But I don't want to just run the farm.  I want more than that.  And I need to get past the resistance that I have that family farms are broke and rely on government assistance to get by.  45 acres is a good start, but I want more.  I want bigger.  I want a lot of things and I don't want to feel restricted.  I want to be able to take my boys to exotic places.  I want them to experience all the luxuries of life. 

My dream doesn't stop at the 45 acres in Muskinghum county.  I want to get more land and make more of it.  I want to be wealthy.  I want my children to experience some of the life I had growing up, at least for part of my childhood. 

That is why I choose to live in abundance.  I choose to be happy.  And I choose not to settle for anything less than my perfect dream.  I know I still have resistance to it.  I can feel the anxiety in my chest when I think about it.  But I am excited to dream big. 

I have no idea how we are going to go bigger than my dream.  But we will.  I will.  And it starts now.  It starts with 45 acres and a log cabin.  It starts with 1 step at a time.